The Food Battle

kiwiI am sure that many of you can relate to the battles that occur at dinner time. It can lead to a lot of frustration and power struggles. How often have we all said “eat your dinner?” It has been known to happen in our home from time to time, although I would like to think that I have gained wisdom over time.

This is a topic that comes up at least once a day while I am seeing patients. The concerns range from “my child is a picky eater” to “my child does not eat enough.”  I suspect the underlying fear is that many parents feel that they are not doing a good job at feeding their child unless they see them eat something at dinner time, even if it means offering not so healthy options. The tactics I see used range from bribery to not being allowed to leave the table until they eat their dinner no matter how long it takes.

It does not have to be this way. For starters, your child has a better sense of knowing when they are hungry or not than we do, yet often times we want to tell them when they should eat. There is nothing magical about eating three meals a day. This is a schedule that has been forced upon most of us to conform to the workday. We all would probably be better off if we ate much smaller amounts spread out across the day into four or five meals, which is what we did when we were toddlers.

If your child eats a well balanced diet and does not want dinner on a given night then do not force the issue. Nobody wins in this scenario. Every child has different calorie needs and they would know best if they are hungry or not. Also, do not compare food intake between children. Eating more is not better. We have a huge obesity problem in this country already.

Avoid the power struggle. Your job as a parent is to offer good, nutritious food choices. It is then up to your child to decide what and how much of it they are going to eat. My son and daughter have heard me say some variant of this mantra hundreds of times. If you try to pressure your child to eat something, they are more likely going to refuse, even if it is something they would typically eat. Think about what you would do if a decision was being forced upon you, would you say ’sure’ or push back? Children want choice or the illusion of choice.

How else can you support your child’s healthy eating habits and decrease their risk for being overweight?

  • Eat together as a family whenever possible.
  • Have healthy foods for dinner.
  • Limit screen time to 1-2 hours a day.
  • Encourage physical activity.
  • Make sure that the get ideally 9 hours of sleep a night.

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