What Does the “End of Men” Mean for Boys?

Having both a son and daughter, I took interest in a recent article in The Atlantic that is getting a lot of press: “The End of Men.” It is an interesting look at the evolution of roles that men and women play in society. The world around us is changing. Earlier this year, women became the majority of the workforce for the first time in U.S. history. The attributes that seem most valuable today—social intelligence, open communication, the ability to sit still and focus—are, at a minimum, not predominantly male.

Some facts they point out are the following:

• Most managers are now women.
• For every two men who get a college degree this year, three women will do the same.
• Three-quarters of the eight million jobs lost during the Great Recession were lost by men.

Meanwhile, boys are struggling in school. PBS cites the National Center for Educational Statistics:

• Boys are 30 percent more likely than girls to flunk or drop out of school.
• Boys are four to five times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

Boy traits are often portrayed as more energy, curiosity, and a need for movement. I certainly hear this again and again in clinic. These can often be things that lead to them getting penalized in school as it can be challenging to find a way to channel that energy into positive ways. Girl traits are thought of as ability to sit still and focus and listen–all things that are typically rewarded and praised in the school setting. The problem with stereotypes is that they do not always hold true. Certainly in my household my son is the one more calm and able to sit still and focus.

It’s great to see a balance achieved, but this article points to a role reversal. What’s going on here? What can we do as parents to boost academics, opportunities, and self esteem for boys? I think it starts with modeling and teaching social and emotional intelligence for all kids. The days of saying “it’s a boy thing” or “it’s a girl thing” need to end. Schools and parents can look to being accepting and working with kids no matter what their characteristics are. Teaching emotional intelligence will help both genders.

When it comes to school, a parent cannot stress the value of education enough. As quoted in the PBS article, “The odds are that if you come from a family that values education, your boy will be successful in school and will go on to college. Most boys do. However, the average American boy is struggling in school” says Michael Thompson. This can be challenging especially for parents that clearly value education but find that their child is still struggling for whatever the reason. There are no easy answers here.